Russian Soldiers’ Guns, Tanks Vanish Into Thin Air As First Wave Of Sanctions Takes Effect
KYIV, UKRAINE—Leaving journalists and eyewitnesses “completely shocked” as they watched in amazement, Russian troopers’ weapons and tanks have been reportedly vanishing into skinny air Friday as the primary wave of worldwide sanctions took impact. Cries of, “No! No! The sanctions! They’re kicking in!” have been heard throughout the northern district of the capital as Russian troops inexplicably fell from midair the place that they had sat perched contained in the armored automobiles solely moments in the past. According to sources, assault rifles have been seen quivering then all of the sudden turning into mud and, in some circumstances, a cloud of butterflies, leaving Putin’s forces looking at their empty palms in bewilderment. At press time, the Russian troopers had additionally begun to dissolve into skinny air after Western nations imposed new sanctions on the troops themselves.